the sex god – Foreword
The book you are holding in your hands is like molten lava, reshaping the inner landscape of how we perceive and experience sexuality. In contemporary Western culture, no matter how blatant explicit advertising and pornography are, sex is still a private and often taboo subject. Ben goes to great lengths to crack open the most secret dimensions of male sexual thought and action. He opens up an important dialogue about the potent meaning of an activity which can be pleasurable, desperate, addictive, destructive, uplifting, euphoric, or spiritual, depending on how one plays the game.
Ben’s innocence is overshadowed by his heightened libido, he simply loves women and sex. Ben is challenged to find his authentic self through the powerful forces of his sexual nature in a world with fixed social rules of sexual etiquette. Marriage vows couldn’t really contain him and he finds himself impelled to play the field; maintaining security at the cost of his true nature by lying to his wife. Of course, the lying and cheating backfires, as it usually does, and he has hell to pay, learning many valuable lessons as a result. The story isn’t unusual, but the way Ben dares to expose his innermost thoughts and feelings is deeply refreshing. At its heart ‘the sex god’ is a spiritual journey; and a revealing and passionate love story.
In our world today sex, pornography, sex addiction and the broken ways in the world are all highly charged subjects and ‘the sex god’ sits at the epicentre of them all. Something has warped in our relationship to sex and it is detrimentally affecting the way we honour men, women and the Earth. There has never been a better time for us all to take a good look at the assumptions that we make about our sexuality and how it affects our culture and all our relationships.
The book helps us take a step back from our conditioning and look at sex from a refreshing new perspective. I am reminded of how some other cultures have dealt with the subject of sexuality, and hope this book can support us all in opening up to new possibilities. For example, in Tahiti, when the first white men landed in their boats, they were dumbfounded when the native population sent boatloads of women to the ships. Gorgeous beauties swarmed onto the ships, lay down and invitingly opened their legs for the sailors to partake of their exquisite bounty. The sailors of course imagined that they had died and gone to heaven!
Over time, sailors began trying to possess individual women for themselves, as wives. There was a great congregation of Chiefs from the various Islands, who informed the sailors that the idea of possessing one woman for themselves was immoral and against nature. They told the sailors that if they did that, they would be destroying the refined culture of the Tahitians and the chiefs would be forced to expel the sailors. Unfortunately, Missionaries soon followed the sailors and did indeed destroy the refined culture of the Tahitians. To the religious or Victorian prudish mind the Tahitians appeared licentious. And yet, if you can look from another perspective they were aligned with truest nature. They were tuned into the truth of what it is to be human. Our sexuality doesn’t in fact follow Victorian rules. Our bodies are not programmed for monogamy. On the other hand, because the Tahitians were completely in tune with their sexuality, heart and spirituality, their sexual expression was authentic; within a world view which honoured all that the human being is.
In ancient India, China and Japan, it was known that sexual energy is immensely powerful. It was considered imperative that mastery of the sexual arts be taught along with astronomy, astrology, architecture, spirituality, mathematics, languages and other refined aspects of learning. Young people were allowed to peek from behind curtains to witness amorous couples. In this way they got to understand the sixty-four positions of the Kama Sutra. Later as they became older they would go through initiations to learn about the subtle aspects of the arts of love and sex.
In ancient Celtic culture, people wisely found a way through the conundrum of one vs. multiple partners with the Beltane festival. It was held in early May each year. On the edge of the village, a line of fire was created between the tilled fields and the wild forest. Whoever wanted to participate in the fertility rites, would jump over the fire into the wild wood, and once there, spend hours or days in rapturous exploration of sex with whoever they liked. As everyone believed in this custom as being good and just, there wasn’t any jealousy. Just as the tilled fields had been stolen from the wild, so it was believed that human nature also had a wild side which had been stolen by civilization. This wild side had to be honoured at least once in the year for there to be harmony in society. If any children were conceived during that time, they would be considered to be children of the Gods.
Ben, the hero of this book, eventually finds his way through the quagmire of sexual confusion, and tumbles into the world of Tantra. He finds that the human body is designed to know not only orgasm of the body, but orgasm of the heart and soul. Orgasm itself becomes his teacher, leading him to greater rewards than he could have ever dreamed were possible. He finds out that each cell of his body is part of the orgasm stream and that life itself is orgasmic, if we but know how to open up sufficiently. Love cracks him open so deeply, that he is forced to reinvent himself as a man. From sex and porn addiction, he finds there is much more powerful fulfilment waiting for him. His story reminds me of the Phoenix, the fabled bird who enters the fire and passes through it to rise again, flying free from the ashes of the old. In the same way Ben passes through the fire of lust and arises golden, victorious and redeemed into the dawning of wise love. He realises that a man who truly loves woman can bring peace on Earth and that an unconditionally loved man can love all peoples and the planet.
In my research into Tantra, I have found that there are two ways to play the game of love. In one scenario, many women can be experienced as one woman, as womankind so to speak. Or many men are experienced as one male principle. In the other scenario, one woman becomes all women, or one man becomes all men. In this book, Ben lives these two possibilities, and it is a true delight to be led on this journey into the ways of love and sex through his narrative.
It is part of my vocation to initiate couples into the art of Tantra. I have been privileged to be a witness to the revelations experienced by the author of this book as he has moved on the Tantra path with his Beloved. Teaching Tantra and the art of sexuality, love and relating, I am privileged to witness many miracles. Tantra is not so much a path of learning, as the art of remembering our true nature. Whatever was locked up behind walls of warped conditioning, finds space to breathe through the practice of Tantra. Exquisite nectar is contained in sexuality. We just need to know how to access it. Ben has found the way. And so can you.
Mahasatvaa Ma Ananda Sarita
Sample Sex God Chapters available on Ether Books
From time to time chapters from the sex god are being published as short stories on Ether Books. Look for Ben Belenus’ author section withing the iPhone or Android App. More coming soon!
Painting by Arthur Fischer – Satyr satisfies Nymph (1900)