The Sex God - No Mud No Lotus

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The book you are holding in your hands is like molten lava, reshaping the inner landscape of how we perceive and experience sexuality. In contemporary Western culture, no matter how blatant explicit advertising and pornography are, sex is still a private and often taboo subject. Ben goes to great lengths to crack open the most secret dimensions of male sexual thought and action. He opens up an important dialogue about the potent meaning of an activity which can be pleasurable, desperate, addictive, destructive, uplifting, euphoric, or spiritual, depending on how one plays the game.

 Arthur Fischer - Satyr satisfies Nymph (1900)Ben’s innocence is overshadowed by his heightened libido, he simply loves women and sex. Ben is challenged to find his authentic self through the powerful forces of his sexual nature in a world with fixed social rules of sexual etiquette. Marriage vows couldn’t really contain him and he finds himself impelled to play the field; maintaining security at the cost of his true nature by lying to his wife. Of course, the lying and cheating backfires, as it usually does, and he has hell to pay, learning many valuable lessons as a result. The story isn’t unusual, but the way Ben dares to expose his innermost thoughts and feelings is deeply refreshing. At its heart ‘the sex god’ is a spiritual journey; and a revealing and passionate love story.

In our world today sex, pornography, sex addiction and the broken ways in the world are all highly charged subjects and ‘the sex god’ sits at the epicentre of them all. Something has warped in our relationship to sex and it is detrimentally affecting the way we honour men, women and the Earth. There has never been a better time for us all to take a good look at the assumptions that we make about our sexuality and how it affects our culture and all our relationships.

The book helps us take a step back from our conditioning and look at sex from a refreshing new perspective. I am reminded of how some other cultures have dealt with the subject of sexuality, and hope this book can support us all in opening up to new possibilities. For example, in Tahiti, when the first white men landed in their boats, they were dumbfounded when the native population sent boatloads of women to the ships. Gorgeous beauties swarmed onto the ships, lay down and invitingly opened their legs for the sailors to partake of their exquisite bounty. The sailors of course imagined that they had died and gone to heaven!

Over time, sailors began trying to possess individual women for themselves, as wives. There was a great congregation of Chiefs from the various Islands, who informed the sailors that the idea of possessing one woman for themselves was immoral and against nature. They told the sailors that if they did that, they would be destroying the refined culture of the Tahitians and the chiefs would be forced to expel the sailors. Unfortunately, Missionaries soon followed the sailors and did indeed destroy the refined culture of the Tahitians. To the religious or Victorian prudish mind the Tahitians appeared licentious. And yet, if you can look from another perspective they were aligned with truest nature. They were tuned into the truth of what it is to be human. Our sexuality doesn’t in fact follow Victorian rules. Our bodies are not programmed for monogamy. On the other hand, because the Tahitians were completely in tune with their sexuality, heart and spirituality, their sexual expression was authentic; within a world view which honoured all that the human being is.

In ancient India, China and Japan, it was known that sexual energy is immensely powerful. It was considered imperative that mastery of the sexual arts be taught along with astronomy, astrology, architecture, spirituality, mathematics, languages and other refined aspects of learning. Young people were allowed to peek from behind curtains to witness amorous couples. In this way they got to understand the sixty-four positions of the Kama Sutra. Later as they became older they would go through initiations to learn about the subtle aspects of the arts of love and sex. 

In ancient Celtic culture, people wisely found a way through the conundrum of one vs. multiple partners with the Beltane festival. It was held in early May each year. On the edge of the village, a line of fire was created between the tilled fields and the wild forest. Whoever wanted to participate in the fertility rites, would jump over the fire into the wild wood, and once there, spend hours or days in rapturous exploration of sex with whoever they liked. As everyone believed in this custom as being good and just, there wasn’t any jealousy. Just as the tilled fields had been stolen from the wild, so it was believed that human nature also had a wild side which had been stolen by civilization. This wild side had to be honoured at least once in the year for there to be harmony in society. If any children were conceived during that time, they would be considered to be children of the Gods.

Ben, the hero of this book, eventually finds his way through the quagmire of sexual confusion, and tumbles into the world of Tantra. He finds that the human body is designed to know not only orgasm of the body, but orgasm of the heart and soul. Orgasm itself becomes his teacher, leading him to greater rewards than he could have ever dreamed were possible. He finds out that each cell of his body is part of the orgasm stream and that life itself is orgasmic, if we but know how to open up sufficiently. Love cracks him open so deeply, that he is forced to reinvent himself as a man. From sex and porn addiction, he finds there is much more powerful fulfilment waiting for him. His story reminds me of the Phoenix, the fabled bird who enters the fire and passes through it to rise again, flying free from the ashes of the old. In the same way Ben passes through the fire of lust and arises golden, victorious and redeemed into the dawning of wise love. He realises that a man who truly loves woman can bring peace on Earth and that an unconditionally loved man can love all peoples and the planet.

In my research into Tantra, I have found that there are two ways to play the game of love. In one scenario, many women can be experienced as one woman, as womankind so to speak. Or many men are experienced as one male principle. In the other scenario, one woman becomes all women, or one man becomes all men. In this book, Ben lives these two possibilities, and it is a true delight to be led on this journey into the ways of love and sex through his narrative.

It is part of my vocation to initiate couples into the art of Tantra. I have been privileged to be a witness to the revelations experienced by the author of this book as he has moved on the Tantra path with his Beloved. Teaching Tantra and the art of sexuality, love and relating, I am privileged to witness many miracles. Tantra is not so much a path of learning, as the art of remembering our true nature. Whatever was locked up behind walls of warped conditioning, finds space to breathe through the practice of Tantra. Exquisite nectar is contained in sexuality. We just need to know how to access it. Ben has found the way. And so can you.

Mahasatvaa Ma Ananda Sarita


Sample Sex God Chapters available on Ether Books

From time to time chapters from the sex god are being published as short stories on Ether Books. Look for Ben Belenus' author section withing the iPhone or Android App. More coming soon!




Painting by Arthur Fischer - Satyr satisfies Nymph (1900)




"Finally, a man dares to stand up and expose his vulnerability, his pleasure, his pain and his power in relation to sexuality. By standing naked before us, Ben shows immense trust in the potential for the human spirit to embrace transformation. He shows us the world through the eyes of sexual yearning, sexual licentiousness, porn addiction, and the sensual worship of women, no matter what her age. He offers a clear path beyond sexual addiction. This book stirs the deepest longings of the heart, to be free, to love and to know ultimate ecstasy." ~ Mahasatvaa Ma Ananda Sarita, Tantra Teacher and author of Tantric Love & Divine Sexuality

** "Overall, this book has the potential to be a massive cult favourite; with books such as the 50 Shades trilogy becoming firm favourites with the masses seemingly overnight, there is no good reason that this novel could not be the next big thing. It is well written, descriptive and adventurous, but not only that, it actually offers an insight into the realms of the human mind and how we deal with our animalistic feelings and desires." ~GoodReads Review

I think you wrote this so clearly, with so much authenticity, humility, compassion, selfknowledge and self love that it is healing and liberating not only to you but indeed to all who wish to read and learn with you. Beautiful, thank you so much. (FB)

*****"This book is a Must-Read!!! I could not put my kindle down! It has the gift of being supremely real, honest and truthful on every level. A superb account of one man's sexual journey, the inner and outer battles connected to it, and reflections from his now-tantric self. So his sexual stories are told from the level of the original experiencer (such as Ben the teenager or Ben the unfaithful husband) and then each escapade is then reflected upon with his tantric wisdom. It is so real, and so insightful. I laughed, I squirmed, I gasped, and I tasted every word as I digested this fantastic read. It is refreshing to find a tantric book that is not just another how-to book. This is a real man on a real journey. I want every man I know to read this!!"

***** "The author is right when he says that through this book Men will be understood and confronted. Women will be challenged and adored. Through open, sometimes crude authenticity the author takes the reader on a journey through his sexual evolution. It confronts the split between sexuality and spirituality that is so very present, and utterly damaging to our society. It is very inspiring and enlightening to see a unhealthy sexual expression - addiction actually - evolve into a profound, whole, and utterly satisfied connection with himself and his lover. From a female perspective, and I am being completely frank here, this book is heart wrenching and refreshing all at once. It opens up our wounds, lays them bare and then ultimately allows us to understand that we are enough for any man. Through love of self, sexuality explored and included, we find our wholeness." ~GoodReads Review

****"It is bold and daring hence I commend the author for his forthright, frankness as he does not mince words but tells it like it is. It gives the reader an insight into the areas of the human mind and how we deal with our animalistic feelings and desires. This erotic journey is for both genders and adult readers, who want to find out more about such a natural practice that dramatically affects the way we think and our emotions. We live in a world that is sexually repressed but also crude and vulgar too (such as pornography and prostitution), hence the author wants to assess what has gone wrong and examine all the assumptions that surround our sexuality." ~Amazon Review

*****"This book is an expression of deep devotion and love. With single minded concentration, the author has followed his desire for union with his own blissful nature. His ability to articulate conveys the depth of his years of experience... written from a foundation of personal spiritual practice and with the sensitivity,understanding and compassion for the (hu)man condition which is only possible from one who has trodden the path and is able to guide us through the pleasure and pain of relationship, from confusion to clarity." ~Amazon Review

*****"Wow...what a fantastic book! As a Tantra teacher, I have read many many books on the subject of sex and spirit. I loved how this one is a personal story and yet with a deep tantric perspective. This book is where the real meets the profound...gloriously. I loved the way Ben describes situations in his earlier days of sexual exploration, and then reflects back from his present-day, more aware, consciousness. It is delightfully open...he holds nothing back, and thus we have everything to learn from his experiences. I finished it and thought 'my god, want every man I know to read this.' Come to think of it, I'd like every woman I know to read it too! Yes, this book is definitely not to be missed!!!!" ~Amazon Review

***** "Ben sheds light in the dark corners of male sexuality where most women don't want to look. And for this reason it's a challenging read. But i felt held by his wisdom in exploring the difficult subjects of infidelity, insatiable lust and relentless sexual conquest. It's an intensley horny read and I often swung from hating Ben to desiring him. He is every woman's dream and every woman's nightmare. But his writing is refreshing in its honesty, and healing in its wisdom. I have more understanding, compassion and respect for men and their sex for reading it." ~Amazon Review

***** "Sex, such an important and ecstatic act and sometimes the definer of a relationship yet so misunderstood by so many of us in the Western world where our education of it often comes through school biology lessons, playground gossip and porn watched in secret. It's time to open the doors and look at it with warmth, curiosity and true passion and nurture it into what it truly can and should be. Here is one man's exceptionally open story of a huge variety of sexual experiences through his life from awkward school beginnings, experimentation, promiscuity, marriage and the mental anguish and frustration that accompanies it all in a world where sex is behind closed doors, real and metaphorical. Finally he finds open doors and walks through them into the arms of a liberated and transcendent experience of sex. This is a very candid and explicit book, and a freeing experience from the constraints of our limited and corrupted views on sex. It is particularly helpful if you wish to gain a better understanding of (and acceptance of) sex through a man's eyes." ~Amazon Review




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